Tuesday, January 24, 2017

Monday, January 23, 2017

Flesh against flesh

Through the pale hands, swollen lips
And heavy eyes.

Of your tongue against mine,
And our mouths sealed together.

When the gap between your fingers that filled mine,
Squeezing a little tighter than usual.

Making my blood gush so quickly,
Like spilling sand through an hourglass.

When your voice whispers closely to my ears,
It echoes the way you breathe heavily.

No words, only soft whispers
And wet kisses

I could feel you breathing close to my neck,
Too close; it made my knees weak.

Bodily close as our heart beats faster
Moving your body with the tempo that matches mine

Flesh against flesh
With tangled souls underneath clean sheets.

This is the last vestiges

Of trembling ecstasy.

Monday, November 14, 2016

Diamond in the rough

He is like a rock.
Smooth, round, asleep on the ground. 
Shades of brown and grey abound.

Just like any calloused rock, 
He was easily an overlooked sight. 
But he is not just a rock.

He is something more, 
He may appear ordinary,
Just like any rock. 
But as you touch it gently, 
and feel the rough edges,
You'll notice the cracks unseen.

The holes and countless crevasses
of all different sizes and shapes. 

Diamonds break,
they shatter but not easily.
It takes extreme heat and pressure to melt from what it used to be. 

I feel every smooth edge,
every crack and every scar,
As I marvel at you,
And think of the journey you had made
To get here and be where you are.

I grew a great love towards a rock, 
but I have earned a diamond within. 
Just like a gem buried deep
and worth more than I dare to keep.

He is a diamond,
Hidden in a rock,
He is a diamond in the rough, 
He is beautiful,

But terrifying to keep. 

Monday, September 12, 2016


Leave your doubts,

& start building a new ground. 

Where you'll continue persevering through each hardship that knocked on your door, 
Even if you have to walk a thousand miles to see the light. 

Don't count the steps, 
Don't count the miles, 
Appreciate the journey

Wednesday, April 20, 2016

Protect The Ones You Love

As I walked through the storm,
on broken glasses beneath my feet
shattering me piece by piece

I stand and dream 
about the days that are yet to come
and remember that you are always here with me. 

Warmth, even in winter snow
I’ll hug you through the night
and make sure you’ll be alright 

Love is no more than you make it
so always be sure to never fake it
Only let into your life the ones you want to take it
And make sure never to break it

When times are tough
I'll be your stepping stone 
and I’ll never leave you alone

If you are hurt
I’ll be the one to heal
So the cuts, they’ll all seal

This is what I feel
My heart so full of zeal
To seek your soul
and to tell you this is real

I’ll do it with all that I am 
Because this is my part

To protect the ones I love. 

Sunday, April 17, 2016

The Sun & The Moon

She was a delicate flower, 
thirsty for the sun
awaiting to bloom

He was a moon 
shining all he has for her
making her petals bloom

except she doesn’t bloom in the moonlight. 

“Sometimes I think two people fall in love, but they are as if the sun and the moon, they are not meant to love each other, chasing after one another, always missing the presence of one another. But once a while, they do meet up and when they do, the stars stares in awe of their eclipse.”

Why Would We Leave Here

Why would we leave here
A place meant just for us

Where pianos have just enough keys 
to bury the destructive and disheveled 

Why would we leave here
Where flowers just begun to bloom 
and all we see is petals singing its beauty

Why would we leave here
when beauty fades 
and everything dies 

Why would we leave here 
when something only a flower has
is a place where love stems from 

A place to hold emotions
A place at the centre of attention
like your needs, your wants, your heart, 
My sacrifice

To stay here forever in this greeting
in the first meeting, then falling
for you. 

I am just a flower

I am just a flower. 
Bloomed perfectly, 
thriving with life, 
screaming in color. 

I am just a flower. 
Beautiful petal 
with thorns adjust 
in a place like the garden of eden

I am just a flower. 
Surrounded by rowdy grass
thirsting for water
in a place overwhelm with the sun 

I am just a flower.
beautiful to behold
but painful to hold

I am just a flower.
radiant and fascinated beauty
protected by thorns revealing its loyal duty.

I am only just a flower.

Saturday, November 21, 2015

My dreams is to be a..

I have been dreaming to be a model since I was five. I remember flipping a fashion magazine and thinking when I grow up, I want to have her nose, that girl's eyes, this girl's lips and that girl's hair. I was inspired to be one of these girls. At five years old, I knew I wanted to grow up into one of these girls. 

However, growing up was different.. It was.. tanned and imbalanced. What did I mean? Well since young I have imbalance eyelid, if you are a follow of my social media for quite sometime you would have known this already. I have a double eyelid on one eye, and a single eyelid on the other. I did not grow up 'cute' or 'pretty' just yet. I was just.. 'Joanne'. Thankfully, I found a way to fix that problem without cosmetic surgery or any sort of cosmetics. The secret is ice. Literally cold ice. If you have eyelids like me you can talk to me on fb i will proudly teach you how I balance mine out. 

But the damn eyelids wasnt only the problem, I was tanned as well. As we all know, the saying 'naturally tanned girls are hot'. My ass. Ok probably if you're a little tanned it's fine you might look hot and what not but if you're so tanned that you look like a maid then no. I was so tanned that no amount of flash can make me look fair. I was tanned because I used to play tennis under the sun, ALOT. So I avoided the sun as much as I can for the next 3-4 years and tadaaa. 

Though I looked like a freak/maid/blackie/imba my dream to be a model did not die off, sometimes I would pose in front of the mirror just for fun. or play with my facial expression (thats how I learn to find my 'good angle') or try on clothes and pose with it. I was a dreamer. 

Then came my first photoshoot, though it was nothing much and it was for a small modelling competition but still, my first photoshoot. Somehow, the entire photoshoot went pretty effortlessly. It didnt feel like I needed to force myself to pose or constantly think of a pose. It was just smooth, and pretty natural. 

This was one of the pictures taken from my first photoshoot. It was through this photoshoot I realise I actually have the potential to be what I want to be, so ever since then I have been taking in jobs even if I do not get paid for it. I just wanted to be out there, I needed exposure. And I had it through all the free photoshoots I have done. Below are the picture of my earliest job to my most recent. (more pictures can be found on my instagram)

You see, I have came a long way from doing literally FREElance job to picking up a job and get paid to look good. I have came a long way from applying for jobs with my portfolio and profiles to being chosen for a job without even applying. I can proudly say, without a doubt it did not happen overnight. I have worked hard to be where I am today, what more not being listed under any agencies. I have worked hard on my own to build my own portfolio. Nobody have taught me how to walk in this industry. Nobody have prepared me for anything close to this. I have taught myself and prepared myself by looking up to better models as role models. I have walked the extra mile to put myself out there simply because I am passionate in achieve my dream. And to look back, I can now say I have achieve quite a big part of my dream just by being a model. I am the happiest being in front of a camera. 

Many people have misunderstood that modelling is sort of selling yourself out there. It's not. Yes modelling may be one of the scariest jobs there is out there. Which is why, girls - particularly girls who is new-comer should always talk to an experience models to know what are the red-signs to look out for. I have learn how to look out for signs of scams and fake modelling jobs since before I started taking in jobs. And I have always know to bring a male friend with me if the job seem suspicious to me. One of the person is closest to me, my mother. 

My mom does not support my modelling career, and it breaks me to pieces. She said "Why would you want to do these things when u can just study and look for a job?" That shattered me to tiny pieces, because what are your dreams without the support of your own parents. God knows I will definitely have a job or maybe a career of my own that may not be modeling, thats why I'm doing my degree, but to have your dreams shunt aside, its a total different story. It's like she's telling me to throw aside a dream I have dreaming for since I was five and do something 'better'. There are sacrifices that comes with the job. For instance, sometimes models wear stick on bra/nipple sticker for the outfit. Not because they are selling their bodies as a slut, but simply because they are just being a model to showcase the outfit. It's not something new in the industry but it's something new to some people. It is just what is being required to be a model. 

But I would not. Never. I have worked so hard to be where I am today. To be acknowledge by people. I would never give up my passion just yet. Perhaps, someday she will understand of her daughter's dream. Just someday.. 

Monday, September 21, 2015

How lucky am i

They said, lucky are the ones who sleeps the night without thinking. 

How lucky can one be, 
to have the ocean,
at ones feet. 

How lucky can one be, 
to watch the sun rises and sets,
upon the sea. 

How lucky can one be, 
to be able to be in a place called home.
Where our souls will be warm and protected
where doubts and fears does not exist anymore. 

How unlucky can one be, 
to not see what I have seen in you, 
or to have felt what you made me feel

I have always thought being lucky is finding a penny at the end of the road, 
maybe to be given free gifts, 
or to have free meals. 

But being lucky, 
is nothing money can buy or materials can count. 
It is a mixture of emotion of gratefulness and appreciation to the little things in life
like being able to fall in love once a while
or to see a smile you'll always remember
or to be close to someone that makes you heart skip a beat
or to have a moment where time can be just a fragment between two people

I'd always thought you are the lucky one
but the truth is
I have never been so lucky. 

Wednesday, September 16, 2015


I promise I’ll stay, And I’ll hold you close to my heart. I’ll wrap you in my arms And beg you not to go. I promise to hold your hands,
To draw us closer ;
to play pretend that this love will never die.

I promise I’ll remember the tingling in my chest
Whenever you make me laugh
The way you held my hand
And kept me warm and secure.

The sky seem to be bluer,
And the air seemed to last,
The cloud floats perfectly
And all I remember is how perfect the day is with you.

Friday, July 17, 2015

You suffered,
You struggled,
Your life was cruel and hard,
You were tortured,
You were tormented,
Your life was short and fast.

Whats left are the rain from the tears,
from the loved ones left behind,
Now we comfort ourselves,
We say only what we can,
Though we may feel empty and sad, 
Our tears mean something 
Our memories live on. 
So you close your eyes,
And rest in peace,
To the Rainbow Bridge you go,
And I'll see you when I get there,
Only to sing my lullaby to you again. 

"Sometimes it isn't the reality of death that shakes us, but simply the loss of beautiful life."

Thursday, July 16, 2015

Final moments with my puppy

If you do not know what cause the death of my puppy, please take some time to read on the link below before proceeding. 

Here - https://www.facebook.com/thongyenni/posts/10153580226413254?comment_tracking=%7B%22tn%22%3A%22O%22%7D&pnref=story

It was heartbreaking remembering about that day. By 'that day', I meant the day I woke up in the morning to only find my puppy laying lifelessly, with his head on one side and almost-cold body on another. I could clearly remember how he struggled to even catch a breath. No he wasn't taking deep breath, and no he wasn't taking small breath. He was simply inhaling once every few seconds. 

He was about to lose it but I could almost swore he was fighting to survive a little while longer. 
Just like any other day. 

What broke my heart more was the splitting images replying in my head of the moment I held him up in my arms when he was struggling to breathe. His big eyes which was closed finally opened once more and stared right back at me. They said if you have spent a whole lot of time staring into someone's eyes, it could almost be as if their eyes are talking to you. So much emotion spoken just by looking at it. 

Well what they said is true. I simply admired my puppy's big round eyes and I have spent a whole lot of time looking at it. Basically every single day. I could have easily tell if he was in pain, hungry, tired, joyful or uncomfortable. 

And that very day, he was in great pain. He looked at me when I held him up as if he was only fighting and waiting to be cuddled again. His eyes turned from in pain to being relief. I knew what I was dealing with but I refused to accept the fact that he was gone or that he is going to leave me. I simply wanted to fight, I wanted him to fight.. even if I knew he was too tired to hold on any longer. 

So when I held him in my arms, I cuddled him like I always do. He did not move, only struggle to breathe as he continued staring at me. He did not look away, not even for a second. I stroked his fur gently and massage his paws and continuously told him that it's okay to go and that I loved him very much. Within just a few seconds, he left and I knew by heart he had stopped breathing. So I checked on him, he was simply turning cold and stiff. He was gone. 

Everyday since, was bitter and painful. He did not only leave the cage empty, he left my heart empty. I am simply scarred by what I have experienced with my little boo. No words could possibly describe how much pain Segar Veterinary Hospital has caused me. To have me bury my own puppy, nothing could ever replace that pain. 

Everywhere I look at, I see my little boo. I would wake up in the middle of the night thinking that I heard his cries again but when I looked around, there is nothing. No cage, no puppy. Nothing. Some nights I could almost swore I could smell him. But there isn't any sign of my little boo. He's gone.

I miss my little boo, and I'll do anything to see him again :'(

A video made for my Boo 

Friday, June 12, 2015

D R O W N I N G ;

Let me drown
in the waters uncharted
and regained. 

Balloons floating above me,
filled with my unconscious dreams.

I struggle and tug at the strings strangling me
Gasping for air, yet I am still breathing
Struggling, yet I am moving 

The sea, the waters I hear them call
When it thunders and waters rise
A part of me struggles and dies.

Screaming for A God
that I once loved with every ounce of soul I have.
I'm surrounded by the darkness of the deep blue sea, 
only waiting to be saved. 

Maybe I have forgotten how to survive,
Maybe I wanted to drown. 

Sunday, April 19, 2015

I almost loved you.

by CyLeong Photography

Maybe it was a drop of a liquid, maybe it was the way the earth quake. 

Maybe it was just the way you looked at me. 

Maybe it was the way your eyes smile when your lips curved towards your ears as you laughed so cheekily. 

Maybe it was the way you looked at me blankly, empty with words but your eyes spoke so fully for you. 

Maybe it was the way you held my hand while your thumb stroked my skin so softly. 

Maybe it was the way your fingers interlocking mine so perfectly. 

Maybe it was the way your kiss devour me causing me to lose what control I have. 

Maybe it was the sound of your beating heart as I lay my head on your chest. 

Maybe I miss you. 

Maybe I don’t.